"Near Wild Heaven" is the third episode of the second season of One Tree Hill and the 25th produced episode of the series. It was broadcasted on October 5, 2004. Although Nathan and Haley are already married, Tim insists on throwing Nathan a post-wedding bachelor party, while Brooke throws Haley a bachelorette party. Meanwhile, Lucas tries to decide whether he should visit Dan in the hospital. Karen decides to go back to school and Nathan gets a job working for Keith at Dan's dealership.
Helping her move into the apartment, Brooke and Peyton are around hanging up the wedding wall. As they are doing so, the girls overhear Tim booking a stripper claiming he is throwing Nathan a bachelor party as he missed out on the wedding. Brooke persuades Haley to let them have their bachelor party, as then the girls can have a wedding shower, Brooke style. Meanwhile, Lucas goes to see Dan, expecting the old Dan, Lucas is reluctant to be at the hospital, but Dan is first to apologize for his behavior in the past to both him and his mom and sounds sincere as he does so. After the visit, he tells Karen about what had happened and how much it freaked him out, but he has decided to let go of the way Dan treated him in the past and intends on facing Dan rather than continuing to run away.
Still adamant to have a bachelor party, Tim has a lot of plans for Nathan and the stripper, but Nathan reminds him he is married, but Tim continues to say that he still remembers the old Nathan and his past can't be erased. Lucas visits Keith at his new job at the dealership, Keith offers him a job but Lucas is still unsure to get a job that Dan pays for. Keith defends Dan saying that he has been shocked by his behavior towards him but he needs to give him some paper and he isn't sure he wants to go back, Lucas offers to take the papers with his new view on Dan. Waiting to begin their parties, Haley is still unsure about a stripper being with Nathan in their apartment, Nathan assures her it is for Tim more than for him and that he is not interested in anyone else. Haley is annoyed that she is having a boring bridal shower while Nathan is having a wild bachelor party which she soon changes her mind about as Brooke promises the best bridal shower ever.
Keith bumps into Karen outside the cafe, the two still haven't gotten over their differences and begin an awkward conversation that Keith is forced to make a quick getaway from. Lucas goes to get Keith's papers signed off Dan when Dan asks him to work out with him while he is in physiotherapy but Lucas declines as he is disappointed it has taken so long for Dan to make an effort when he has had his whole life. Dan asks for a 2nd chance and as Lucas leaves tells him to put a copy in a drawer in his office. Lucas does so, and as he does, finds a collection of items relating to Lucas and his life including newspaper cuttings and school photos. When beginning physiotherapy, Dan refuses to do any and as Deb tells him she has hired a nurse to move in to help, Dan asks to move back home. Meanwhile, Haley asks Lucas to look after Nathan with the stripper to ensure he does nothing wrong.As the bachelor party begins, Tim, Nathan, Lucas and eventually the pretzel store manager all wait for the stripper to arrive with Tim more anxious than anyone else. As the night draws on, the boys are forced to read cosmogirl quizzes until Tim puts on a home video of his step mom. Meanwhile, Haley begins the night expecting a calm, normal time, but Brooke has other ideas. Firstly, she rents out a limousine for the girls to begin their party. Then, Haley is brought into a lingerie store where all the cheerleaders try on different underwear so Haley can select a special set for Nathan. Back at the bachelor party, Mouth arrives with a keg and the rest of the rivercourt boys, as they go in the apartment, two police women spot them and follow them up to the apartment. As the police arrive at the apartment asking for ID, Tim immediately assumes they are strippers and begins teasing them and they arrest him, with him still under the idea that they are actually strippers, even to the point when they drive him away in the car. As this happens, Haley is awarded, by Brooke, with her first fake ID, just as the car breaks down. When the mechanical arrives, he turns out to be a stripper, much to Haley's surprise and Brooke's enjoyment. As Tim is being led away by the police, Haley drives past Nathan out the limo roof with Peyton and a stripper. Deb goes to the cafe and tells Karen about Dan returning home, Karen pours her an alcoholic drink as she will need it and tells her to do what is right for her, not for Dan. A drunk Haley arrives at the next stop of her bridal shower, a pole dancing lesson. The dancer asks her for a try and Haley leaps for the pole, only to fall off the other side of the stage. Now the boys have all gone, with no stripper ever arriving, Lucas tells Nathan about the pictures he found, which Nathan already knew about. Lucas offers his job at the dealership to Nathan as he needs it more and they both agree never to let Dan come between them again. As the bridal shower comes to an end, Brooke tries to pay the club when all her cards are declined, trying to flirt her way out of the situation, the manager asks her how dirty she will get, meaning it literally as the girls end up having to clean up the dishes at the club. Now Lucas has left too, Nathan is alone when the stripper arrives. Nathan tries to refuse her to come in but she forces her way in. The stripper ends up playing Nathan on a Playstation while she waits for a cab she called. As Haley is sent home as too drunk and being refused the chance to help clean, Lucas goes to the dealership to see Keith, he tells Keith about Nathan as he thinks Nathan could use Keith's help. Back at the apartment, Haley arrives outside the apartment as the stripper tells Nathan she never called a cab as she likes him and will keep it a secret, she goes and waits in his room for him. Nathan goes into the bedroom and takes his top off, he says that he wants her and lies on the bed next to Haley, after telling the stripper to leave before Haley got home. Meanwhile, Brooke is hung up on something that Haley said that love is what everything is about and she is happy to have Nathan, as Peyton thinks the same, the two end up having to cheer each other up. Deb is with Dan and tells him there is no way the lawyer she hired can invalidate Nathan and Haley's marriage legally. Getting the hint, Dan says to leave them alone as the marriage will eventually self destruct. When asked if not, Dan tells her he only had a heart attack, it didn't completely change him.
Lucas decides to start work at the cafe to support Karen as she starts her college courses. Nathan begins work at the dealership with Keith offering his help. Brooke's cards continue to be declined as Karen arrives for her college courses. Dan arrives back home with Deb, where Lucas greets him. He tells him that the pictures in the lock box don't change anything, but Dan is still hopeful for a change in the future even though he can't change the past. Lucas then helps him in the house, offering his support.
- "Haley, let the boys have their fun, besides what's good for the goose is even better for you. They can have their little testosterone-fest ogle some dial-a-date and you get to have a bridal shower and rake in tons of loot from all the guests. This is so a fair trade"
- "Tim I'm married"
- "Right, keep telling yourself that, but that ring doesn't erase your past Nate, some of us still remember who you used to be"
- "It's just the guys, they've seen it like this. In fact, they made it like this"
- "I don't mind. Besides, if we're gonna have a skanky ho in the place, at least it should look clean. I'm kidding, sort of, maybe
- "I've never been so horny!"
- Tim Smith as he is escorted away by the police thinking they are strippers
- "People are going to disappoint you, I get that, I kind of expect that, but what if you wake up one day and realize that you're the disappointment?"
- "They're teenagers Deb, once the newlywed sex wears off, they'll realize the only thing keeping this marriage afloat is a minimum wage job pushing pretzels with no benefits. Then money problems will kick in and they'll start to wonder why they rushed into the whole thing. Their marriage will probably self destruct and we won't even have to lift a finger"
- "Those pictures in the lock box don't change anything, don't even think for a second they do"
- "Bridge The Tunnel" - The Honorary Title
- "Satellite" - Junk
- "Keep Your Reciept" - Cobalt Party Revolution
- "C'Mon" - Go Betty Go
- "Word Up" - Korn
- "Shake Dat S**t" - Shawnna feat. Ludacris
- "Bang Stranger" - MC G-Nutz
- "Let's Get It Started" - The Black Eyed Peas
- "Fit But You Know It" - The Streets
- "Bad Habits" - Michael Tolcher
- "Mirror" - Erica C.
- "Roll With Dub" - Double Owe
- "Kill" - Jimmy Eat World
This episode's title originated from the song Near Wild Heaven, originally sung by R.E.M.
- Whitey does not appear in this episode.