"Something I Can Never Have" is the seventeenth episode of the second season of One Tree Hill and the 39th produced episode of the series. It was broadcasted on April 19, 2005. Keith has a violent confrontation with Dan after learning Dan paid Jules to sleep with him. Anna turns Felix in to the school authorities after discovering he was the one who defaced Peyton's locker. Meanwhile, Lucas and Brooke discuss the possibility of her leaving Tree Hill for good, while Nathan decides to go get Haley and bring her home.


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Anna finds Felix's shirt covered in red spray paint

As Peyton and Jake realize who is at their door, Nicki emerges from the shadows. Nicki reveals that they had a court date and Jake didn't turn up, so due to his absence, Nicki got sole custody of Jenny. Annoyed, Jake refuses to give Jenny up to her unreliable mother and walks in the house not letting Nicki see her, but Nicki promises to get her back. Driving Brooke home, Lucas tells her not to go away, but Brooke wishes she didn't have to either. She tells him how she will miss being the girl behind the red door to her house. After dropping Brooke off, Lucas goes to visit Keith to see if he went home. As he knocks, Karen answers the door in a quilt. She tells him that Keith never came home. As they begin to talk about not telling Keith, Lucas admits he never told Karen as he knew she would go straight to him. Keith then walks in and has been listening to them talking about the deal between Jules and Dan. Furious, he storms out of the apartment. Anna is putting some clothes away as she finds one of Felix's t-shirts covered in red paint. Realizing that he spray painted 'dyke' on Peyton's locker, she goes upstairs to accuse him. Felix confesses but says it was to protect Anna from the rumors again and by her staying away from Peyton, she did her predictable behavior and his plan worked. Keith goes to see Dan at the dealership. He asks about the deal him and Jules had made and he denies anything to do with it, as Keith is about to walk away, Dan starts laughing and confesses to what he did, proudly. He says that it was revenge for sleeping with Deb, but he does not know where she is now. As he continues to insult Jules, Keith punches Dan to the floor and begins strangling him until some workers at the dealership are forced to pull him off his brother. As he leaves, Keith smashes a window and tells Dan he has nothing left, but to remember that he still has, shocked at him smashing the window, Dan fires him. Peyton and Brooke are miserable as they both walk to class, realizing this will be one of their last times together. As Peyton suggests using a webcam to keep in touch, Brooke suggests living at Peyton's, together. Peyton is more than happy to welcome her and tells her to call her parents straight away, so Brooke rushes outside to call on her cell. As she leaves, Anna asks to talk to
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Brooke and Peyton are shocked to see Nicki return

Peyton and tells her about what Felix did. Peyton isn't so shocked but tells Anna that he owes them both an apology, as he was writing to her, without knowing it. As Nathan drives on his way to see Haley, he remembers going for their wedding reception. As Haley takes a long time in the shower to get ready, Nathan gets in too and the two laugh together as they make themselves later and later for their wedding reception.

Anna and Lucas are sitting together watching Brooke argue with her parents obviously having a negative response to her moving in with Peyton. Anna urges Lucas to tell her before it is too late, and Lucas confides in her saying that he can't imagine Tree Hill without her. Peyton goes out to calm a furious Brooke, she finds out that Brooke's parents have not allowed her to stay with Peyton as there is no parental guardian and they also think Peyton is a bad influence. As the two laugh at the latter reason, Nicki approaches them and asks for Jake and Jenny. They both refuse to give her any help and throw insults at her instead of helping her. Ignoring their insults, Nicki tells Peyton to tell Jake that the more he runs, the worse the case will be when Jenny is finally passed over to her. Nicki leaves with two cops who are also looking for Jake. Meanwhile, Felix goes to see Principal Turner who asks him about the red spray painted t-shirt he has come across, shocked, Felix has no reply until Principal Turner expels him from the school. Nathan continues on his drive to see Haley and remembers walking in the apartment to find Haley in tears. Asking what's wrong, Haley tells him who she misses her parents. Nathan tells her to pack her bags and they will go and see them together as he is her family now and he is going to look after her. Haley is more than happy to follow Nathan's instructions.

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Nathan remembers better times with Haley.

Anna gets home to an angry Felix. She finds out he has been expelled and tells her that no one even cared about the locker being vandalized, but Anna disagrees and tells him that Brooke will care if no one elses. As Brooke gets home, she finds a girl called Charlotte looking at her house to move into. The girl is not happy about moving and asks what they do for fun in the middle of nowhere. As Brooke tells her a load of lies pretending she is a hilbilly, Charlotte walks off, just as Felix goes to see her. When he asks who the girl is, Brooke says it is the new her. Lucas goes to see Karen and asks how Keith is doing. Karen promises him that he will get over it, eventually, but it will take sometime. He wishes he had told Keith, but Karen tells him that he had his heart in the right place. Changing the subject, Karen asks when Lucas is moving back in considering that the secret has been revealed, but Lucas says he isn't as he is Dan's only weakness and possibly the only way to stop Dan doing something like that again, so he wants to stay to protect the people close to him, Karen is not happy about it. Also in the cafe, Andy is talking to Jake about custody, he says he should go to court as it is the better thing to do, and much better than running all his life. He offers him a lawyer and Jake feels the need to reject it as it is unfair, but Andy insists, so Jake takes him up on the offer. Nathan continues his journey and calls his apartment, he smiles as he hears him and Haley on the answering machine and remembers when they recorded it together, as they do, Haley mentions that they can't answer as they are having sex, so Nathan jumps on her making them both fall off the bed as the machine records them.
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Nathan visits a shocked Haley on tour

Karen goes to see Keith to see how he is coping. Keith tries to close the door on her but Karen stops it and explains she had no idea about it until minutes before the wedding. She also tries to let him know that Jules did love him and that she would happily be with him for real. Keith tells her that he doesn't think they could get back together, but he still wants to know the truth. Karen gives him a file of 'Emily Chambers,' who Jules really was. She tells him that, much to Dan's dislike, she got the best thing in her life from him, Lucas, and maybe Keith could have the same thing if he goes and finds Jules. Peyton and Brooke are together and Peyton tells her that she doesn't understand how everyone's lives are being ripped apart in front of her, and she can't do anything to stop it. Brooke tries to comfort her, and then Peyton reveals that it was Felix that vandalized her locker. Furious, Brooke races over to Felix's house and bangs on the door, as he

answers, she tells him they are finished. She storms away and as Felix races after her apologizing, Brooke won't listen and breaks up with him, calling him a hateful scumbag and telling him to drop dead. Lucas returns to Dan's house to find him marking papers, when asked if he is leaving, Lucas reveals to his father that he is staying as Dan kept his promise not to tell Keith, even though he found out through Karen, and plus, he also needs his medication to be paid for. As Nathan continues his drive to see Haley, he remembers when they got home from their wedding. He carries her across the threshold of their apartment and apologizes for not being able to afford a honeymoon. As they walk in, Haley is shocked to see the apartment done up with petals and candles leading up to the bedroom door which has a poster on saying 'Honeymoon Suite, Do Not Disturb.' Haley is overwhelmed and drags him into the bedroom.

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Lucas surprises Brooke with her new room

Nathan arrives at Haley's concert and gets in backstage as he tells the bodyguard that he is looking for 'Haley James' and that he is her husband. He goes in her dressing room to find her mirror with a photo of their wedding day on. As he looks at the other photos, he finds pictures of Chris and her laughing together and looking really close. Haley then walks in behind him. He turns around and promises that he is not going to give up on their marriage and that he wants to be with her for the rest of his life. He says he will wait and do whatever she wants him to do. Shocked, Haley doesn't know what to say and confesses that she thinks she rushed into marriage and wasn't prepared for music and her relationship to be too much for her to handle. Nathan then realizes she isn't wearing her wedding ring. She promises him that she isn't with Chris and she still loves him, but she doesn't know if she can be who he wants her to be, Haley is then called onstage and asks Nathan to wait so they can talk this through. Back at Tree Hill, Felix tells Anna he is being sent to military school. He is mad that he has protected Anna and she has done this to him, but Anna tells him that it is a hate crime and that 'dyke' is not just word, it is a label. She confesses to him that she is gay and that he has made her afraid to be who she wants to be and she refuses to be afraid anymore. She then asks if he still has her back, but Felix just looks at her with disgust and walks out the room.

Brooke and Lucas are walking down a street as she tells Lucas that she is constantly taking everything in as she knows that it will probably be the last time she will see all of Tree Hill. As they arrive at Lucas' house, Brooke asks what he will miss the most about her. Lucas says he will miss the girl behind the red door. Then he shows her that he has painted his old room's door red. He leads her into his old room and she finds that all her stuff is in his room. Confused, Brooke asks what is going on, and Lucas tells her that Karen has persuaded her parents to let her stay with Karen through the summer. Delighted, she hugs Lucas telling him that she is so glad as she wasn't ready to be lost. Jake goes to see Peyton and tells her that he is sick of running and won't do it as he has her now too. He tells her he is going to fight Nicki through the courts.

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Lucas watches in the shadows as Dan hides some documents

Haley gets offstage to find Nathan isn't there and has left to return to Tree Hill. Karen goes to see Brooke and tells her that she is going to have to live by her house rules. As she begins to list them, Brooke hugs her tightly and tells her it is like having a real mom. Lucas goes to see Keith and finds out he is leaving, Lucas apologizes for not telling him about Jules but begs him to stay. Keith says he should have told him the truth and is leaving. When asked if he is coming back, Keith tells Lucas that for once, he feels as though he might not have anything to come back to. Felix unpacks his locker at Tree Hill High and as he leaves the school for the final time, he walks past Peyton's locker which has now had all the paint scraped off to cover the message he vandalized on it. Dan is closing down the dealership on puts something in the roof, above the tiles, so no one can find it, as he does so, Lucas watches him from a distance. Haley and Nathan both look at their wedding rings and put them down, not willing to wear them anymore.

Memorable Quotes

"Well, well, well, isn't this the picture of a perfect family"
Nicki as she sees Peyton Sawyer arrive home with Jake Jagielski and Jenny Jagielski

"I really liked being the girl behind the red door"
Brooke Davis thinks about what she will miss when she moves away

"Congratulation Dan, I have nothing left to lose. But you do, remember that"
Keith Scott after finding out Dan Scott paid Jules

"He owes you an apology too. He may have spray painted "dyke" on my locker, but he was talking about you. He may not know that, but you do"
Peyton Sawyer tells Anna Tagarro

"I barely knew her a year ago, and now I can't imagine life around here without her"
(Brooke on the phone) "No, I hate you!"
"She's so sweet"
Lucas Scott and Anna Tagarro discuss Brooke Davis, who calls her parents

"Well if it isn't the other woman and my favorite travel agent, any other places you'd like to recommend?"
"Yeah, away from me, unless you'd like your next period to come out of your nose?"
Nicki returns to see an unhappy Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer

"Oh, you live here, right. Must be a huge drag. Like, what do you do for fun without cute boys or good parties?"
"Well, well, we have a nightly banjo duel, and then there's the cousin swap, and on Friday nights, we all take baths together"
New girl Charlotte looks at buying Brooke Davis' house

"Dan is a monster, but he gave me Lucas. And despite his worst intentions, I have the one person I love most in the world, maybe you can too."
Karen Roe tries to get Keith Scott to take Jules back

"I wanted to see you, I needed to see you...Listen, I asked you to marry me because I want to spend my life with you, I still want that. I love you I came here for you, and I'll be here no matter what. I'll go with you on the tour, I'll wait for you, whatever you want me to do. I'm not giving up on us, I'm not giving up on our marriage"
Nathan Scott

"It's a hate crime"
"It's just a word" - Felix Tagarro
"It's not just a word, it's who I am. Peyton isn't gay Felix, I am. So you want to spray paint 'dyke' somewhere? Do it on my walls, spray it on me."
Anna Tagarro


"Charles Bukowski once wrote; 'There will always be something to ruin our lives. It all depends on what or which finds us first. You're always ripe and ready to be taken."
Lucas Scott (opening voiceover)


  • "To Jenny" - Sorta
  • "Sweet Little Bay" - Sorta
  • "Just A Little Bit More" - Madison Rose
  • "Long Black" - Gus Black
  • "Back Of The Church" - Michelle Featherstone
  • "Lie In The Sound" - Tresspassers William
  • "Chariot" - Gavin DeGraw
  • "What Are You Afraid Of?" - West Indian Girl

This episode's title originated from the song Something I Can Never Have, originally sung by Nine Inch Nails.


  • Deb and Whitey do not appear in this episode.

Episode References

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